Monday, January 26, 2009

My Dughter who Came Out of the Closet at 15.

This was the first blessing my husband and I had. 9 months and 10 days after we were married we gave birth to our beautiful baby girl. I say beautiful because she is still beautiful. Just do not tell her I said that.
She was a normal birth and everything went very easy. I made it to the hospital 20 minutes before she was born. Weighing in at 7 pounds and 14 ounces, with a full head of hair, and a smile that still to this day lights up any room she is in.
She has always been very likable to others. She has a very sweet and caring nature.
She was the normal girl in her young teens. She had her teen attitude with all that comes from the teen attitude. She told us she hated living with us, she expressed her dislike for the "rules", as well as her dislike for being told what to do. She was very strong willed and verbal. (but I felt that was healthy)
At 13 she was caught smoking at the neighbors house with another teen, a boy. At 14 she went to homecoming with a boy from her school. Afterwards, they went to the park and were on the swings when a police officer pulled up to them due to the fact she was not 18 and there was a curfew I was not aware of. She was driven home by the officer! On homecoming night, all dressed up, in the backseat of a police cruiser! I found this so funny! Her date followed to tell us he was sorry. (this was shocking and sweet) He did take a picture and it was in the yearbook!
Then at age 15, she was dating a young man who she was in school with. She was showing signs of being confused and distant. I just thought it was the age. She was not ready to talk just yet. She did express how she was not sure about the young man she was seeing, but no details. Then finally she told her dad and I that she felt a serious attraction to females. This was not a complete shock, I knew something was different about her. She hated dresses from age 3, she did love dolls for a short while, but preferred to play with Rambo guns and toy trucks. She always enjoyed fishing. She also smelled like my husband when she sweat! She was not afraid of anything, ever. I always had in the back of my mind, that this would be a real possibility. So as we sat there listening to her words, I saw my baby girl from birth to that point, like a movie review. Like a life flashing before my eyes. This was kinda like a lost dream for a parent. You have all these dreams of watching her become a woman, get married, have a child, and being your "mini me". But then I realized what I was feeling was normal. What she was feeling was normal in her mind because she is and was born, this wonderful person! No matter what her attraction is, she is still our beautiful baby girl.
Well, my husband and I are very proud and happy that she was able to come out at this early age. I feel her later teen years were spent in a healthy state of mind. She never had to hide it from us. My whole family knew and was fine with it. She did not have to pretend to be someone she was not. We have always had a wonderful relationship with our children and it shows when they are able to trust you to share who they are with you and all who love them, without being treated in a negative way. Oh do not get me wrong, there were certain family members who never accepted who she is. But these are not "important" people in her life. She was hurt very bad and her brother was there to witness this whole display of her treatment by them. She has not gone near them since. She loves them, but she feels they do not feel the same way about her.
I will always support her and her girlfriend. I love them both very much.
This is not the lifestyle I would have chosen for her due to the fact it is not an easy lifestyle. But she is a pro at it now. And I believe your attitude determines your altitude in all areas of life, with that said, I will tell you where she is today. She is 25 years old, she is in collage for Crime Scene Investigations. She is in a committed relationship. She is working as a Photo Lab Tech. She is fun, beautiful, funny, and she is terrified of dolls! This is fun for me, I love messing with her. More on the tricks and fun later. I may even have her "guest blog" here to explain her story in her words, watch for that!
My next post will be about our son, the second wonderful blessing in our lives.

1 comment:

allenmcalister.com said...

That has to be the sweetest thing I have read. I am proud of you for writing that. Its great to know that parents do care!

Allen